Wednesday, April 1, 2015

IT TAKES BRAINS to light it up blue!

I have been quiet the last few months.  I was rendered quite speechless by a terrible unexpected loss in my inner circle of friends. I have thought a lot about my mortality the past few weeks and that of those closest to me. Just yesterday I had the scariest Mommy moment of mine to my youngest son, Quaid, who has Autism, bolted out of a restaurant into a parking lot...I was right there.. I was watching him.. I caught him. On that day... for reasons unknown it all ended well,  I still quiver, I am eternally grateful. My husband and I have been doing some serious soul searching and reevaluation of what our days look like, I suppose that is the gift of being smacked in the face. There was a time when I thought Autism was the biggest challenge. I have learned it is but a different path, the challenge was recognizing that we ARE capable of walking within, around and through it.

Its hard for me to get motivated to light it up blue and cheerlead for Autism Awareness... I deal with this everyday and truth be told the 2nd of April sort of annoys me...why is it this conversation pertaining to a childhood epidemic is discussed only the day after April fool's? This is no joke in my life. It it with unconditional love that I embrace who my child is and advocate like a wild tiger on his behalf, but I will not concede that Autism is a gift or that he or I are "extra special" and that is why we were "chosen" for this path. While I  consider myself quite spiritual and pray to a God I believe in daily for strength and wisdom, Autism is a neurological disorder. A disorder rooted in science. While I would not trade my kid for the world, I do not wish Quaid's struggles on future children. It is in that vain that this year, a year when I listen closely to my mind and my soul about mortality, purpose and legacies big and small I register for,  It takes Brains and donate my brain tissue, when I no longer need it. Perhaps someday my tissue, along with my families will shine a light on the science. That...that makes me glow on the inside.

*follow me on Instagram #JamieKaminski  to see my iphone photo a today...what started as a response to sorrow  has evolved into a necessary part of each day for me. A moment to pause as everything including my thoughts always spins too quickly.

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